CrossRoads

What to do?
I do not know where to go from here;
This is a sad place: It is a sad place because I have always placed love on a pedestal,
making it the most important mission of my life. I only ever wanted love.

This is a sad place: A cross-roads where my heart is torn right down the middle, between everything I cherished and everything I Adore.

I know that both roads lead to Him, though one is narrow and direct and the other is wide and swerving. But my impatient heart can't bare how long both those roads are, and how long it will take to travel them.

The wide road has all of my past, including your memories and all our moments
and all our love-that-was; this road has all those moments visible and bare and exposed. And on this road, you are still there.

And yet the other road, the direct road, has all the same memories,
except over the agonizingly painful moments there is a Cross. This Cross has one highly-appreciated service: it blocks from my sight the pain, the loneliness, the torture.
But on this road, I also can't see the future.
So I am a scared.

I am torn down the middle.
My heart longs to travel the road of Crosses,
but I worry that you won't be there in the future.
I know that the road with my life’s memories, bare and naked and exposed, may still have you, but it doesn't have the future I long for; a future that shines bright because of God's curing and unending light.

It is a sad place because I have always placed love on a pedestal,
making it the most important mission of my life.
But now, Love is the priority; the Love of Christ and
by embellishing my heart in this True Love,
I am
drowning my sorrows
and trading them
for the safety of the Lord.

I hope you're at the end of the road with me, sharing in Love,
but even if you're not,
I'm starting my journey on the road with Crosses.
I am
going the distance
so that True Love
can be my only, direct guide.